Daily Inspiration: What's Yours?

Inspiration: The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

Synonyms: creativity · inventiveness · innovation       

I don’t use a lot of mainstream media for inspiration because, at times, it’s frankly chocked full of lies and deceit. And we see the same things, over and over again. People using trends and taking them to the extreme where no individuality or originality is even shown. These characteristics still exist. You’ve just got to find something that excites you, then place your own spin on it.

Makeup Courtesy of Madinah M. (@Theeebeautyqueen)

Exploring Pinterest, I stumbled upon a few of Tyra Banks’ photos. I adored Tyra when she was on “Fresh Prince” with Will Smith and even more so when she started America’s Next Top Model. I learned soooo much from watching that show as a teen. Not only is she beautiful but she’s also a businesswoman. I like those ‘not just a pretty face’ types. The ones who have strong wing lines but also has a degree in philosophy.

But back to inspiration. I get inspired by many things: cool people, good books, bad ones, fat girl blogs, and movies. Photos and visits to the museum, pondering old art, and just plain silence. Sometimes, I inspire myself by looking back on all the dumb shit I’ve done and all the situations I’ve handled like a normal person which resulted in not going off on someone who probably deserved it.

I think it is very important to be inspired as well as strive to inspire others. People need that. Genuine inspiration. Because that leads to hope. And with hope, you can do anything and go anywhere and be ok. There was a time where I was hopeless, inspiration-less. It was the worst time in my life. To be in a deep, dark hole. Just stuck. You can’t see anything but that dirt wall. The sun is out there somewhere, but you don’t even know it’s there. That was me. Before I hit the deep end, I sought out help. Which was the best decision I ever made. She made me see again, and feel. I was inspired by the small things like the sun, and friends, and a good TV show.  

Now that I know how important it is to be inspired, I try to maintain that level of mental stimulation at all times. It keeps me sane. It keeps me happy. It keeps the darkness from seeping inward.

Fun Fact: I'm wearing raggedy socks underneath. HAHA.

It’s Friday. Go out and do something tiny. Smile at a stranger even though they may not smile back. Paint your toenails. Grab a scoop of ice cream. Or just sit in your car at the park with the windows down and let the fresh air flow through.

Wanna know what I'm wearing for the Tyra Bank's inspired shoot?

Faux Fur Stole: Forever 21 (Cancun)

Dress: Forever 21 Plus

Gloves: Claire's

Clutch: Target

Jewels: Hubby :)

Curvy Conversations: Who Am I to the Fashion World?

Right now, I'm in the experimenting phase of my life. I'm 28. I'm Black. I'm a covered Muslim who models on the side. I write some stuff. And I'm just trying to figure out how to make my small mark on the world...Oh, and the fashion world. This is where it all started.

I've been heavy set, fat, obese, whatever you want to call it for most of my life. There were 'NO' stylish clothes for people like me, not like now. I grew up in an era where there was no body positivity. If you were fat, then you were lazy, hard to look at, never the apple of anyone's eye. Your goal was always to be skinny. Why? Because skinny equated good.

So, I set out to be skinny. To fit into those size 8's. No problemo. I worked out to Richard Simmons, the 70's fat blast. I'd be skinny in no time, I thought. After the workout, I'd ride my bike to the store to grab a candy bar and a pop. After a few weeks, I was no smaller than when I started. What was I doing wrong? 

My mother had previously told us that she used to have an eating disorder. At the time, I thought that was sad, but paid no mind to it until I was in the same predicament. Eating a handful of pretzels, a piece of gum, and sugar-free drinks became my routine. I exercised excessively and weathered the hunger pangs and migraines. I remember one day, after a workout, I just laid across my bed and watched the rail thin models strut down the runway. So fabulous and confident. That's when I had the crazy notion that I'd be a model someday.

My mom put my little brother in modeling. He was cute but didn't take direction very well. I'd watch the well-dressed teens go on stage and pose in front of the judges. A smile here, a twirl there. I looked at them, studied them. Then I looked at me. I had crooked teeth. I was short. I was fat. And I was Black. I was Muslim so I couldn't wear the skimpy clothes that would be required for me to model.

It'd never happen.

I lost weight. The wrong way. People said I looked good. Inside I was still that 'fat girl'. I was sick. I compared myself to others. I belittled myself. I hated my body. I gained the weight back and more. I wanted to model. Be apart of the fashion scene, but I couldn't because I didn't fit in the tiny confinements of what society said was beautiful or acceptable.

I hit rock bottom. I mean I was down and out...Years later, I found inspiration in seeing women who looked like me. Who had round bottoms and large chests. They took bomb photos and said bomb things that made me feel good about my double chin and short legs. So I started a vlog, after a few months it failed. I had no idea what I was doing.

So who am I to the fashion world?

I am that black child who grew up not liking herself because the images on the screen didn't match. Not my nappy hair. Not my wide toes. Not my brown skin or flabby arms. 

Who am I? I am the one who now walks into a room a demands attention with the sway of my thick hips and the twinkle in my brown eyes. I am the embodiment of every female (and male) out there who looks at themselves and grimaces because of what someone else told them is beauty. I am a force in itself with my own solar system. I walk to the beat of my own drums. I don't need anyone to validate my existence, my beauty, my ugliness, or my aspirations.

I AM ME. Unapologetic. So watch out world, I'm coming for you.