Love Your body

Do You Wish You Weren’t Fat?

April 15, 2017

As a fashion influencer, I get this question all the time. Especially from straight size individuals. Do you wish you weren’t fat? I know that a lot more people want to ask, it’s on the tip of their tongues, but because they don’t want to offend me they just keep it buried with all the other questions.

“Let’s say in a perfect world you could choose your body. No strings attached. Would you still choose to be fat?” a close friend asked.

The topic was on fat activism and body positivity.

Each time, I pause and think about the pros and cons. Because the westernized part of my mind goes straight to ‘thin is better’ or ‘thin is beauty’ without even hearing any other options. Our minds have been conditioned to immediately associate beauty with fair skin, slim noses, and flat tummies. Thick hair, full lips, long legs. But as I dig further into my own ideologies of the true meaning of beauty through my lens is when the answer starts to reveal itself.

It’d be amaaaazing to walk into a store and they have all of your sizes available in the front and not buried away in the back near the restrooms. It’d be amazing to have more than two or three racks of shapeless clothing (H&M…) to choose from. It’d be cool when you date a guy that he wouldn’t assume that you’re easy with low self-esteem because you have stomach rolls and that clearly no other man wants you because you’re fat and he’s doing you a favor. And we can also assume that it’d be cool not to be asked how many months pregnant you are when you’re not pregnant at all. Or to be trolled on the internet because you’re promoting obesity even though you go to the gym five days a week. Or not be looked at with disgust when you’re clearly nourishing your body with food at a local restaurant.

But, with all that said, I wouldn’t change being fat. Why? Unfortunately, as humans, and especially as girls and women, we always want what’s in. What’s trendy. Our bodies have become trends, objects. The body that was popular in the 70’s is totally different than the body that’s ‘in’ now. So, are we going to alter our bodies every decade to fit the mold of this ‘new’ beauty standard? Or are we going to embrace the curves (or lack of) that we’re working with now?

The true goal is to be healthy and fat or healthy and thin. Not to lose (or gain) weight so the scale can flicker to an agreeable number for other’s comfort. That’s my motto. And my life has been so much more fulfilling because of it.

Plus, the upside to being fat is that I don’t shop at the same stores that my thinner friends go to so that means no embarrassing twinning moments. I’m forced to be creative with my ensembles because my clothing options are so much more limited. Can you say, slayage? When I fall down the stairs, my butt cushion saves the bones from breaking. If I lose or gain five pounds, you won’t notice it. And, of course, I’m a pretty good cuddler.

*Winks at the guys*

xoxo

Leah V.

Vulnerability Doesn’t Mean Weakness

December 23, 2016

I’m an extreme thinker, which comes mostly from my personality disorder. Or so I’ve been told by a mental health professional a few years back. No, I’m kidding. I really do have a personality disorder. Sounds a lot harsher than it really is. Kinda. LOL. Anyway, when an individual thinks in ‘extreme’ terms it usually means that they see the world in black and white. It’s either this or that. There is no middle ground, no in between or gray areas. Of course, that’s a skewed way of thinking, right? There is always an exception to the rule. Especially when we are dealing with the complexities of a human mind.

Vulnerability. The word scared the fuck out of me growing up. I’d witnessed acts of vulnerability in women and seen people get chewed up, mistreated, and tossed out like waste. Vulnerability equated weakness to me. And that learned behavior was a fact in my world. So, I stuck with it. And vowed to never be vulnerable. To never show more emotion than I should. To listen more than I spoke. To always have a one-up on anyone who wanted to fraternize with me.

Emotions. Eww. I’d cry in secret, burying my face deep down in the pillow to ensure that no one would discover my ‘soft’ core. Hugs used to make me feel weird. I’d stand there like a log until they stopped. A few of my family members nicknamed me ‘robot’. I thought it was pretty funny until I got into therapy and she started to unpeel the layers…

Publicly, I’d mask sadness and grief with anger and aggression. Always ending up in a verbal, and on a few occasions, physical outbursts. One time, one of my verbal altercations turned into a physical one. And I ended up in jail for the night. After I was released, I went to my therapist.

“Why are you so angry?” she asked with a straight face.

I hunched my shoulders. Still very much so mad that I’d embarrassed myself and gone to jail in the first place.

She asked again, this time more stern. And, I had a hunch that she’d keep asking until I gave her something.

“Because, I’m a villain and villains are always angry,” I said with a smile.

She chuckled. “How are you a villain?”

I sat up straight. “Villains don’t have emotions. Just like me.”

Her eyes shifted. “You must not be human because I’ve never met a human without emotion”

“Well, my family does call me a robot.”

“You do have emotions,” she concluded. “And you’re certainly not a villain.”

I rolled my eyes. “If I do have them they are completely under control.”

“Under control?”

I nodded.

“So much so that you just got arrested for domestic violence?”

My lips pressed together and she continued, “You’re always angry because your masking your emotions with aggression. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok feel grief or fear. These are healthy emotions to experience.”

“Stuff like that is for soft people. People who don’t have a backbone. People who get trampled on. I won’t let anyone step all over me. Not happening.” I crossed my arms over my chest like a two-year-old.

“Who ever said that being less angry, vulnerable, and more open made you ‘soft’ or weak?” She explained, “There is a middle ground here. We’ve just got to find one for you.”

During this time, I was very hard-headed. I listened to her to an extent, which led me to keep bumping my head against the wall. Each time, I’d go back to her and explain my outbursts and she’d reiterate the same facts with patience, over and over again. It was ok to be vulnerable. It was ok to show emotions. Emotions didn’t mean that you were weak. She told me that I wasn’t weak. That I was the strongest person she’d ever met. I cried in front of her. She asked me how I felt about that. I told her that I hated crying in front of people and that it made me feel vulnerable. She said, good.

It took me some time to get over it. Well, not really get over it. But to sway my way of thinking about vulnerability as a fat, black, Muslim woman in the united states. How the act works with me or against me as an artist and as a budding business-lady.

In addition to the therapy, blogging and modeling has really helped me break out of the box I’d placed myself in. I find myself the most vulnerable when I’m adding content to my captions or writing an essay about how an event in my childhood unfolded or how experiencing an emotion made me feel. I feel much freer, lighter. More real. Much more like myself. A human being. And that’s pretty cool. I’m less aggressive, less angry. Don’t get me wrong being vulnerable with our emotions isn’t all lollipops and gravy, and you’ll get those jerks that will take advantage, but that doesn’t even add up to the benefits you’ll gain by being your true self.

xoxo

Leah V.

Turban: Fatshion Forward + Photo: Madinah M.

The ‘F’ Word: FAT

September 30, 2016

At Buffalo Wild Wings, I ordered lots of food. Hey, I was super hungry. Plus, I have a tendency to order too much then complain about being too full halfway in. Yes, annoying. I know. I’m working on my indecisiveness.

Anyhow, after the waiter leaves, I said to my guy friend playfully, “OMG. I’ve ordered half the menu. I’m soooo fat.”

His eyes swelled with fear then shock. If he had pearls, he probably would’ve clutched them.

At first, I thought I had lipstick on my teeth. “What?” I croaked.

“You. Are. Not. FAT!”

I rolled my eyes. “Boy, bye. I am fat.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You are curvy. Trust me, I know fat. You’re just thick.”

“I’m fat. I’m obese. I’m overweight. It’s fine.”

What was interesting was that the ‘F’ word for him was so negative, so vile that he couldn’t possibly equate that nasty attribute to me. He got an A for effort though. Haha. But like him, so many other men and women avoid the word ‘fat’ or if they do use it, it’s become one of the main cuss words.

I’m not even going to lie. In my adolescence and early 20’s, I was once one of those people that if someone called me fat, I’d melt and dissolve into the wind. No coming back from it. I’d go over it a million times in my head. Fat. Fattie. You’re FAT! Why the fuck are you still fat? Be skinny. Skinny is better. Skinny is acceptable. You will be great when you are skinny.

Funny thing is that when I did have an eating disorder and got ‘skinny’, I was the unhappiest I’d ever been in life. But, everyone else seemed to dote on the fact that I’d lost so much weight so fast and blah, blah, blah.

Why do we glorify thinness but bash fatness? And I know the internet trolls with their Google degrees are going to come out of their troll lairs with the following argument: fat acceptance glorifies obesity and health problems.

Firstly, I welcome them with the real ‘F’ word. After that, my rebuttal consists of not only fat people have health issues. I’ve been fat mostly all of my life, and I’ve had no major health problems. I have fat and skinny friends with health issues. Good or bad health doesn’t discriminate like we do. And if I did have bad health from being fat, that still has nothing to do with you because you aren’t me nor do you pay my medical bills.

Back to our scheduled program…

So why am I talking about this? In an interview, I was asked about the word ‘fat’. Why is it such a negative word? Why do most girls and women cringe and melt when they are called it? And most importantly, when I decided to reclaim it.

I reclaimed the word when I started having open conversations about body acceptance with other body positive activists in the community. The conversations were real and enlightening. These women (and men) were not only fat but they were other things, too. They were fat and business savvy. They were fat and confident. They were fat and stylish. They were fat and athletic. They were fat and sexual.

They smashed the fat stereotypes in half and I set out to do the same.

Let’s say this at least eight times: Fat isn’t a bad word. Stop making it that way. It’s starts with you. It’s an adjective, people. Just like any other adjective. Sometimes, we’ve got to take a look at ourselves and stop being so freakin’ sensitive. So what if your boyfriend calls you fat. Do what I do and say, “Yes, I know. Anything else you want to point out Captain Obvious?”

If you are obese, overweight, curvy, or thick, 9 times out of 10 you are probably fat. And that’s ok. And if it’s not ok, then change it. Simple as that. But let’s not wallow in the fact that our bodies are shaped differently or the scale gives us a number that isn’t ‘acceptable’ to society’s standards.

Why not start living right now? Don’t let a couple pounds deter you from enjoying what life has to offer. Your body is good so be good to your body.

You’ve only got one.

xoxo

@Lvernon2000

Body Image: How to Get Over It

September 13, 2016

You can’t. Not ever fully.

Life is full of ups and downs when it comes to how we, as women, perceive ourselves.

The most bomb-looking girl has body image issues. Whether she divulges it or not.

And a lot of people won’t.

We keep our “problem” areas to ourselves. So we don’t look weak. Dumb. Low self-esteem. Whatever.

I’m a body positive style blogger. If you look at my Instagram you’ll see my face beat, ensembles on point, and turbans wrapped to perfection.

To the naked eye, I look like I have it going on! Not one worry in my little world of fabulosity.

What people didn’t see was that a few days ago, I had a breakdown. And thought I was the ugliest thing to ever walk the earth.

Today, I’m back on track. A little.

But this week has been tough for my own body image. Self-esteem. Morale. Etc.

Next week will probably be much better, Insh’allah.

And this is OK!

The problem with society is that they believe that girls, women should be confident, at the top of their games, and oh-so-perfect at all times.

Unrealistic.

We are hairy. We burp. We hate our bodies. We love our bodies. We cover them. Some of us don’t. We love. We shout. And some of us are more of a man than an actual man. LOL.

Body image is how we view ourselves regularly.

And sometimes, they can be totally extreme.

But I just want you to know that however you view yourself is OK.

You are allowed to just BE.

I will leave you with one thing, because I’m feeling extremely 70’s hippy right now.

You are gorgeous. You’re smart. And you have a wonderful smile that illuminates even the darkest of nights.

I want you to find something you adore about yourself. Then say it out loud. At least three times. And mean it! Then I want you to find something you love about another girl and tell her, out loud!

XOXO

Leah V.

Photo: Reel Clever Films    Tulle Skirt: Society + — Photo: Reel Clever Films Tulle Skirt: Society +

Eid Glam: Tips on Finding the Perfect Eid Ensemble

June 30, 2016

Eid is my favorite Islamic Holiday. Why? You feel all triumphant because you cursed less during Ramadan, the people who worked your last nerve you managed to NOT go off on, and although you passed out a few times from hunger and thirst, you managed to fast for the entire month.

Congratulations.

Now, it’s time for the day everyone has been waiting for: Eid Fashions. We’ve waited all year long to see which sister is going to pull off that one-of-a-kind red carpet look at the Eid day events.

Here are a few tips on getting ready for the big day:

1. Don’t Wait Till The Last Minute

I’ve seen this happen so many times with my girlfriends. Their looking through the magazines and ohhing and ahhing at the pretty colors. Twenty-eight days have passed because of the indecision, and they rush out to get whatever’s left at the mall the day before. Don’t be that person. Get your major pieces sewed or purchased early. You’ll be much more satisfied and stress-free.

Photo: Lil Miss JB Style    Tulle Skirt: Society + — Photo: Lil Miss JB Style Tulle Skirt: Society +

2. Think Outside Of The Box

Before, I became a fashion blogger and a wardrobe stylist, the worst thing in the world happened to me. Two years in a row, I was caught wearing the same outfit as someone else. Needless to say, my friends joked about this All. Day. Long. Groans.

Of course there’s no sure way to not have the same outfit on as someone else, but I challenge you to think outside of the box when choosing your Eid outfit. Fashion is fun and daring. Pick a color or a concept and build your outfit around that.

Tip: Shop away from the malls and stores nearest you. Drive out to new stores in other cities because they have a whole array of fresh items to choose from that maybe your neighbor hadn’t thought of.

3. Execution Is Everything

I’ve partook in some hideous Eid outfits (Check out the green monstrosity above). Make sure that whatever you decide to wear you execute it properly and you are comfortable and confident in it.

4. Accessorize!!!

I want to see you doused in accessories this Eid. Like peacock feather head pieces, crowns, large hooped earrings, midi rings, and statements neckpieces.

Since Eid will fall in the summer, these are a few styles I’d like to see you guys rock:

Colors: Yellows, Reds, Electric Blues, and Whites

Patterns: Aztec prints, stripes, Paisley, geometric shapes, polka dots, and dark tye-dies

Textures: Lace, linen, silk, chiffon, and velvet

Photo: Remy Roman    Wrap Dress and Accessories: Peacock Room Detroit — Photo: Remy Roman Wrap Dress and Accessories: Peacock Room Detroit

I can't wait to see all of your Eid outfits in the next week! Make sure you hashtag #LeahVDaily

And don't forget to follow me on IG: Lvernon2000

Also, you check out the original post on Eid Glam at Muslimgirl.net

Natural Makeup Tips For Girls With Melanin

June 11, 2016

Oh, how I love makeup. I just went to Sephora yesterday and almost had a heart attack because all of the pretty colors and lippie samples. I touched and sampled...everything. It's been a tough ass week. And I deserved it. Spending money that I don't really have. But guess what?! Don't judge me.

So I want to chat about skin and makeup application and my regimen for my caramel complexion. In these sets of photos my MUA, Madinah M., gave me a natural, everyday look. And everything that I know about cosmetics comes from her. So pay attention:

If you don't have eyebrows like me, lol, then you'll have to fill those bad boys in with a pencil. I suggest using shades of brown depending on your complexion. I use Wet'n'Wild in dark brown. Black pencils are waaaaaay too harsh. Don't do it! After you fill them in, use a spoolie (basically, a clean mascara wand) to blend.

After the brows you can do a simple wing line. And there's really no simple way to do a wing line. I'm still struggling. But there are many, many makeup tutorials on YouTube that will help ya out. I like to use the eyeliner pen with the felt tip by Stila. Better precision. Plus perfection takes practice, people! So if you end up looking like a raccoon, at least you can say you tried. Tip: less is always more. Haha

Next, you can do some false lashes if your feeling pizzazz-y.

Get some foundation. I like Estee Lauder Double-Wear Liquid Foundation. It's nice and sheer. Not too much for a natural makeup look. I dab it all over my face in dots then use this soft synthetic foundation brush to blend the shit out of it.

Please. Please. Get the right color foundation. Don't be out here with an ashy lookin' face. Don't know your correct color? Try at least three different shades. The one that blends into your skin seamlessly is the right color. The ones that look ashy is too light and the ones that make you look several shades darker than your real skin tone is too dark.

Apply a little blush. You'll need two soft, angled brushes. One for the light one and one for the dark one (M.A.C.). The peach toned blush (Klean Colour), I placed on top and then the darker one, I placed on the bottom (for a little contour action). Stroke at an angle, blending towards your side burn.

Apply some gloss or a matte cream lippie. The nude gloss I'm wearing is Milani Bare Secret.

Boom! There you have it. A natural, yet beat face to the Gawds. Hope you enjoyed my little makeup tips for girls with some melanin.

For more makeup and fashion looks follow us: Madinah and Leah V. on the Instagram!

Photo: Reel Clever Films MUA: Madinah M. Model: Leah V Wardrobe: Society+ Styling Asst: Holly Haynes Hartter — Photo: Reel Clever Films MUA: Madinah M. Model: Leah V Wardrobe: Society+ Styling Asst: Holly Haynes Hartter

How to Rock a Plus-Size Tutu Like a Boss

June 01, 2016

I have a vision board that I created with my friend a few years ago...three to be exact. It sits on my black dresser right behind my mirror. It's a staple, just sitting there reminding me of what I should be dreaming of every single day. It's a reminder that I CAN be whatever it is that I want to be. It's a reminder that I should strive for those goals every day. A few times, I fell away from life and I went back to the board and just read the quotes and glared at the pictures of plus models that I'd pasted on it.

When I was making the board, I thought it was only fun to cut out the pictures from the magazines and play in glitter. Three years later (and a whole lotta' shit), the things on the board has come into fruition. Whoa!

One of them was to model for a company out of state.

We all know Jessica Kane. If you don't know, get to know her. She's a model, body pos advocate, businesslady, and mommy! She's also a great friend and a visionary...I'll tell you why shortly.

I know, your probably like, ALL bloggers do this. They work with a company and make us care but they only want sales! Let me tell you this, I'm not a TYPICAL blogger. I'm an artist first and foremost. I like quality just as much as you guys do and I've turned down countless projects because it didn't align with my brand or my community.

As you all know, I'm Muslim and I'm black. I come from the ghetto's of Detroit. Right? Cool. A lot of companies don't want to bother with me because I can't show my body. Yada yada yada. And me being Muslim is an issue for some. I'm waaaay too 'Out of the Box' for some so they'd rather work with other bloggers. I get it. It's safe not utilize me. You either get me or you don't.

Jess took a chance on me. She allowed me to be myself. Encouraged me to be different. And for that, she's got a fan for life.

So Society+ got in touch with me. I'm like waaaaaaaa! Someone gets me. Someone likes me and trusts me with their clothes. Man, I felt super accomplished. They sent me a few pieces and I'm like yaaaaas. This shit is on point. The clothes are great quality, true to size, and not too expensive. And the tutus... They are thick and full.

I did an entire shoot Downtown Detroit with Reel Clever Films and my little crew as we changed right in the middle of the street into four other outfits. It was fast-paced, fun, and tiring, and lovely. Lol. We got these great shots of the caged top (also from Society+) and the olive tutu.

Rock the TUTU! Why? Cuz it's super cute and feminine.

Wardrobe Breakdown:

Society+: Caged Crop Top and Tutu (Purchase here!)

Purse: TJ Maxx

Accessories: Forever 21

Shoes + Legging: Torrid

Undershirt: My own

The Selfie: What's So Wrong About Being Confident?

May 16, 2016

I take quite a bit of selfies. You have to take at least 10 pictures to get that perfect one with the right light and angle. I love taking them, especially when I get my face beat. The excitement is real. Too real. Most of the time, I take mine outside or on the way to an event. Usually, people are around. Now, mind you, I don't really pay attention to people who glance or even shoot me a little smile and then goes back to their business, but it's the haters that stand there and grimace and stare the entire time I'm doing it.

Umm, ahem. *Clears throat* Do you mind? A little privacy while I capture this moment of contoured elation.

There was this one time, I was taking selfies at a networking event with some friends. On each floor, we took pictures because the light said NOT TODAY! There was this couple who was watching us the whole time. You know me, I'm a nice lady, but I keep it moving. On the last floor, their hate finally erupted. "Are you guys gonna take selfies on every floor?"

The face people make when they are uncomfortable with a fat, Black, Muslim girl taking selfies.

I've had four years of therapy to get my mind and mouth right...after I snapped out of all types of angry Black woman stereotypes, I finally gave an acceptable answer. I smiled then said, "Yes, we are."

What I really wanted to say was the following: Why you all up in mine? Mind yo bizness! And lastly, why are you so bothered?!?!

So I threw up the deuces and continued with life.

But this isn't the first time that I've taken pictures of selfies in public and got weird stares. I'd really like to know, why are these people so bothered with what I'm doing? I'm not carrying an ax or performing street tricks, I'm either modeling or taking a picture of myself at a moment where I feel good and confident. And I want to share that moment with other people, or my friends, or keep it tucked away for myself on those low days. The days when I need reminding that I AM beautiful, no matter what.

I believe that some are angry at the things that they themselves won't allow themselves to do. So when they see me taking selfies, being unapologetic about the way I look and feel, it angers them. I also think that some people feel like taking selfies is for the vain and arrogant. Now, I can't speak for others, but that's definitely not the case for me.

Why does this make people feel uncomfortable?

Selfies are supposed to be empowering. Not this evil act that people do to annoy others. I've had a few people who never took selfies before in their life take some and tag me. What I saw were bigger smiles, chins lifted higher, and that slick glow of confidence that I live for. What's so wrong about that? Want us to walk around like unfabulous zombies? Nah. Aint happening this way.

And this isn't just a selfie thing, it's an epidemic of people being uncomfortable with you owning it: your life, your circle, and yourself. Yes, I'm fat and I look damn good and sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do! Haha.

I have the right to be confident in my skin and in my clothes. I can strut whenever I want. I can speak with authority if I want. No, I don't think I'm better than you or anyone else, but I make decisions for me that are going to make me happy (including selfies!!!). And if you don't like it then that, my friend, is a personal problem. And I hope that you can get some help for that.

Yonce' says it better. "I ain't sorry. N****, Hell nah!"

Let's keep the conversation going: How do you feel about selfies? Yay or nay?

And don't forget to follow my fashion shenanigans on IG @Lvernon2000 or on Snapchat @ LeahVDaily

Body Positivity: All Bodies Are Good Bodies

May 07, 2016

I’m not sure if there is like a real proper term for Body Positivity and when it was actually coined is beyond me, but I stumbled into the phrase like two years ago and was immediately enthralled.

Wait a minute! I didn’t have to hate myself when I was around girlfriends that were smaller than me? I could actually do my makeup and wear a bomb outfit and feel equally beautiful? I didn’t have to worry about what other people thought of my fat ass eating in public? I could love my body and be ok with it and if I wanted to lose or gain weight I could without regret? Sign me up!

So here’s the thing, internet trolls have equated Body Positivity to fat people wanting to glorify obesity. Are you kidding me?!?! Let’s get the record straight. I don’t know any plus blogger, fat activist, or curvy fashionista that openly says ‘hey, be fat and unhealthy or skinny and unhealthy.” Health is always a concern, but it’s YOUR personal concern. I can’t make you stop smoking, make you put down the cake, or anything else. But for you, as a Troll, to imply that I’m unhealthy because I’m fat or that I’m trying to make people obese because I’m confident in my skin is a no-no. R-E-S-P-E-C-T goes a long way people.

Body Positivity means, to me, that ALL bodies should be celebrated: old ones, wrinkly ones, tight ones, fat ones, thin ones, lumpy ones, covered ones, nude ones, black ones, yellow ones, and pale ones.

Don’t knock me because I’m fat and fab and confident in my OWN skin. Just because you believe that you could never be confident at my size is YOUR issue. Not mine.

How can I be a part of the Body Positive movement? Great question. Straight sized people (and even larger ones) are often afraid to join in the movement. But I say, the more the merrier. This isn’t an exclusive club for fashionable fatties, this is a human movement. It’s inclusive. No one should feel on the outskirts of positive movements in the right direction. We’re all just trying to make it day by day.

By just being you, being confident in your abilities as a HUMAN being and respecting and encouraging others to be the BEST they can be, then you’re already involved. Speaking out against fat-shaming or body shaming is a major one as well. If you see someone getting harped on for their size (of lack of) then you should step in. No one deserves to be shamed openly because of a physical attribute. No one.

And when you post your fabulous pics on social media there are like so many hashtags to use to let people know that you have joined the movement. We have #EffYourBeautyStandards which was created by Tess Holliday, #HonorMyCurves, #SelfiesForSelfLove, #NoBodyShame, and #BlackGirlMagic just to name a few.

Here a few more things you can do to promote Body Positivity:

1. Wear what you want, when you want

2. Put as much (or as little) makeup on as you want

3. If you feel like saying some hating ass shit, don’t

4. Own it, whatever ‘IT’ is

5. Smile at other people, a lot

Curvy Enthusiast: Alysse Dalessandro of Ready To Stare

March 21, 2016 in Interview

Alysse Dalessandro, activist, fat fashion guru, and owner of Ready To Stare, was gracious enough to grant me my very first interview on my new website platform this year. So exciting. I first came across her Instagram account about two years ago and fell in love with her boisterous style and outspoken posts on the body. I even had the pleasure of meeting her in person last year and hope to work with her in the future. She’s a pillar in the plus-community and her voice transcends our time. If you don’t know her, then get to know her:

LV: Let’s talk about your self-perception as a teen. How did you see yourself as an adolescent as far as beauty and self-esteem?

AD: In school, I was painfully shy, and I knew that I was different. One of the few fat kids, I matured much earlier than the other girls so fashion became my armor. And it still is. It was the one thing in my life that made me feel good, so when I would be bullied or rejected by my classmates, I stayed confident in my ability to put together looks. It didn’t matter if my classmates didn’t get them. In fact, I relished in being different. Fashion was empowering, and it started my pathway to self-love and acceptance. There’s something powerful about being able to express yourself.

LV: How did you stumble upon blogging?

AD: I actually wanted to be a blogger for a long time but was too scared to put myself out there. It had to do with the fear of not being good enough.

In 2012, I came up with the name Ready To Stare, my jewelry and accessory business. It was actually the name of the personal style blog that I was too scared to start. For the first two years, I was able to get my voice out there in the fashion world while remaining behind the scenes.

By the end of 2013, I felt stuck. My friend told me that I needed to put more of myself in my business by taking selfies and modeling for a Ready To Stare campaign. The reaction was huge. It gave me the confidence I needed to start my personal style blog, #StareStyle in May of 2014. And that entire year was a really big for my personal and business growth.

LV: Explain what the Body Positive Movement means to you?

AD: To me it’s really about loving yourself and helping others to do the same. My definition of body positivity continues to evolve, because mainstream media has started to cover it without a full understanding of what it actual means. I’m increasingly frustrated by the loud voices of small plus-size or non plus-size women being lauded as the face of the body positive movement who do not represent my interests as a size 22/24. At this point, I really identify more with the fat acceptance movement than body positive.

LV: Describe your style.

AD: I feel like my style is constantly evolving. My attitude to fashion is very much IDGAF about what people think I should wear. I strive to break fashion rules and help encourage people to dress the way that feels right for THEM, and not how anyone else thinks they should dress.

The way that I dress my fat body is a political statement, and I’m aware of that when I dress. My style is pretty bold, unapologetic and of course gaudy. I want you to stare. I want what I wear to make you think. Does it make you uncomfortable to see my fat body in this outfit? If so, why? I really think of fashion as tool to dismantle societal norms.

LV: Share a part of yourself that you may not be so confident in but are working on.

AD: Great question. I get asked so often about a part of my body that I am struggling to love and honestly, I have had much greater struggles learning to love myself on the inside than I ever had about my body. I still struggle with feeling worthy of things. I still doubt myself. But the one thing that someone could call me that will really hurt me is definitely not fat, it’s crazy.

LV: What is the biggest difference in your life post-blogging?

AD: I feel more free. I don’t feel as afraid as I used to. I was always able to advocate for others and tell others they were worthy and good enough, but I couldn’t say the same thing to myself. Blogging really represents that personal shift for me. It’s funny with the increased amount of visibility, I face so much more criticism than I did before but because blogging was about finding my own inner strength, I am not fazed by that criticism.

LV: What are some of your top fashion influencers and why?

AD: I take a lot of inspiration from 90s fashion. I love everything RuPaul has even worn. I love the women from the blog, Advanced Style. I think older women who take risks with fashion are so important for fashion rule-breaking. I love Marie from The Curvy Fashionista not only because she’s an OG, but she really cares about making changes in this industry, and I have so much respect for her.

LV: What would you say to someone who said that hated themselves or how they looked?

AD: I would say to be kind to yourself. But there are so many little ways to start to combat those feelings of self-doubt. Take some selfies. Try a bold lipstick. Wear a bikini, even if it’s only in your bedroom mirror. Write a personal essay even if you never publish it. Do it FOR YOU. Challenge yourself to see yourself in a different light.

And don't forget to check out her social media feeds:

Website: www.readytostare.com

Blog: http://www.readytostare.com/blogs/starestyle

Twitter: https://twitter.com/readytostare

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/readytostare

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/readytostare/

Tumblr: http://readytostare.tumblr.com/

TCF Style Brunch speakers ranging from wardrobe stylists to brand consultants to plus-size bloggers and designers.

TCF Style Brunch Series--Atlanta

March 14, 2016 in Feature

I've known about The Curvy Fashionista's events for the last few years that I've been blogging. But I never got a chance to attend one. I mustered up enough guts to email Marie and ask about a press pass. She sent me one right away :)

The Curvy Fashionista created by style blogger Marie Denee has several events throughout the year and this style brunch located in Atlanta focused on "owning your beauty" with guests @PHAT_Girl_Fresh @JibriOnline @mimijonline and @PatrickTCooper

The style influencers were hilarious, candid, and inspirational. I learned a lot about 'owning' ones self and accepting your flaws and all. The crowd was energetic and confident and fierce. The food was poppin', too. LOL. I enjoyed myself despite having only a few hours of sleep. And for those who know me, I need my beauty rest. Haha.

A few fashionistas waiting to take pictures in front of the backdrop.

Was totally fan-girling. I got to finally meet the outspoken and oh-so-fashionable, Maui of Phat Girl Fresh.

Jibri was in the house. I've been eyeballing her clothes for a while. I can't wait to get my first piece.

You know I HAD to cop me a pair. I'm in love.

My Outfit Deets:

Turban: Caniff Gift and Variety

Dress: Avi & Viv (Target)

Jacket: JC Penney's

Headpiece and earrings: Payless

15 Diverse Bloggers You Need To Know

March 01, 2016 in Feature

1. Veroiam_ (US)

Style: This girl knows how to have fun. Her style is edgy yet sophistacted.

Before we go any further with our other 14 gorgeous blogger babes (and bae), I'd like to let you guys know why I searched Instagram--high and low--compiling this list of curvy fashion influencers. Diversity, for me, is key to any and everything that I do. My motto is that 'fashion isn't exclusive' and from this list of very different and stylish individuals you can see that style comes in all forms.

Although, I am not a 'top blogger' in any way, I thought it'd be fun to mix this list with underdog bloggers as well as ones who are more established. A lot of plus-size blogs and websites mostly feature the 'in crowd' bloggers (no shade!). But there are soooo many talented bloggers out there just waiting to be discovered.

Here's the thing, we have to be the change that we wish to see. So with that said, I want you guys to give these bloggers mad love. Support them, follow them on the 'Gram', tell them how lovely they look, or just say heeeeeeeey! Lol. I'm quite sure they'd appreciate it :)